Defensive interaction

After reading the Gibb's Defensiveness-producing communication behaviors, I figured out that like most of us, I am also impatient and sometimes it is hard to make decisions. It is not because I am not grown up or anything related to that, but rather lack of confidence. I tend to take everything personally and act defensive. For example, last week I was with my friends and we were talking about how cultural values are important. One of my friends, Arshpreet, is born and raised in America but his ethnicity is Asian Indian. He follows his religion which is the reason he has grown his beard and hair, he never had a haircut. I am Indian, and I respect his decision of following his culture because I know that reason. But last week my white friend John was joking and asked Arshpreet to get a haircut. I took that defensively and asked me why is Arshpreet's beard and religious culture affecting him that he is suggesting him to have a haircut. I was mad at him, but after some time we argued and he apologized and told me he was joking. We are still good friends but it is my habit to take everything defensively. Out of Gibb's six defensive categories I think my personal example follows control/problem oriented, neutrality/empathy, and certainty/provisionalism. It is because I talked on behalf of my friend, supported him and allowed John to practice his beliefs and not to say anything about others cultural or religious values.